I’m moving to Paris, France for graduate school in one week, and among all the other things I’ve had to prepare the silliest (and therefore the one I’ve used to escape into the most) is rewriting all my social media profiles. Here are all the Twitter (and Instagram and Pinterest) profiles I’ve thought of and rejected since I found out I was accepted to grad school 4 months ago.
“Texas expat living in France. On a mission to eat all the cheese.”
Rejected because: It’s just not true. I’m lactose intolerant. I’m absolutely not out to eat all the cheese, even though I want to.
“Texas expat living in France. I’m here for all your bread.”
Rejected because: Too real.
“Grad student. I stress-eat croissants.”
Rejected because: SHUT UP VALORIE, STOP THINKING ABOUT BREAD.
“Please don’t ask about the ‘the’ in my handle.”
Rejected because: Probably just going to call attention to the fact that my handle sounds really conceited.
“I take a lot of photos of latte art.”
Rejected because: True but so do a lot of other people, so.
“American writing living in France. I know, I’m a cliché.”
Rejected because: I’M TRYING NOT TO BE, REALLY. Don’t try to sell me a beret.